femme-plumber's butt

I bought my first pair of low-rise jeans a few months ago. I have to cave and admit that, now that I own them, I like the way they look with some of my shirts, but at first I just got them because they were on sale and I needed new jeans. I have several issues with the low-risers:

1) Ladies, we have hips! And hips serve the wonderful function of holding your pants up. Since the jeans don't go above the hips, we have to wear tight belts, which leads to problem number 2.

2) Flub. Low rise jeans make everyone, even a size 2, look like a fatty. To hold your pants up, you have to tighten the belt so much that it causes your kidneys and extra skin to squish up. Believe me, even if you can't see it, I can from behind. Why wear something that makes you look fat? Now I'm a chub anyway, so I'm extra concious of this problem. If you wear a loose fitting top you're fine, but low rise with a tight top? uh-uh. you're asking for trouble.

3) Plumber's butt. For so many years this was a problem for only the guys, and often just the bigger fellas. He leans over, and hairy cheeks peek out over the top of the pants. But now, with the low rise jeans, it's our problem too. If your belt isn't tight enough, here they come. Now some of you recognize this and use this opportunity to show off your favorite new thong, UGH...We used to make fun of guys for showing off their boxers - why, WHY would you want to show off underwear that's wedged between your butt cheeks? If all you want is sex and attention for your body, if you really think you have nothing more to offer the world than your body and a few "oohhh....oh Yeah..."s, than fine, show the world your underwear. I happen to think more of myself. I'm sort of suprised that people haven't started snapping thongs the way they used to snap the back of your bra back in junior high. And for the rest of us wearing the low rise jeans, think about the plumber butt before you sit down. Stools are the worst, they put your butt at eye level and I've seen more than my share of crack that way. It's NOT pretty. No one wants to see your bootie squishing out over your too-tight low rise jeans, so think about it before you sit, and angle yourself accordingly.

So wear the low-rise jeans, but do so with caution and acute awareness ladies. I don't think we should be self concious, but I do think we should be aware of what we're doing to our bodies, and to other people's eyes...the burning sensation....owwww....I can't see!!!!

Who wants to fall out of their pants more? Ladies with low rise jeans want to fall out of their pants more.

barrett 'n megan